Our Story....a Prolife Story

So, I’m going to talk a bit about my family of origin.

Growing up, I never had a large family of cousins, reunions, or get togethers. One reason for that is my mom was adopted and had one sibling from her adoptive family. My father is an only child and both of his parents were out of the picture before I had grown out of toddlerhood. So our’s was not a family of big Christmas’s, or extended, cohesive family. I was curious about my mom’s side, given that we didn’t know anything about her biological family, but as most kids, I just accepted what the reality was and moved on.

My mom did end up finding her biological family after I had started having children of my own. A half sister of her’s actually lived 10 minutes from my house! It was a happy reunion, except my mom found out both of her biological parents had died several years before her finding the family. What struck me, though, in finding out who her parents were, their personalities, and the facts surrounding my mom’s pregnancy and birth, that on the surface, this baby, my mom, looked like what others would call “a mistake” 

 My maternal grandmother was a broken woman as was my grandfather. My grandmother had many children by many different men, including my own mother. She adopted out the majority of her THIRTEEN children, staying in touch only with two or three, who were raised by relatives.

This isn’t the joyful news you see on TV with a biological mom who was ecstatic to see her long lost child. While my mom’s siblings were, for the most part, very welcoming and so sweet to my mom, it was a loss to her that she didn’t meet her mother. It was an additional loss to feel like her mom didn’t give her up in a heroic act of love, but rather as a problem to be given away. 

Many could say, “Well, if only abortion was legal when she was having babies, and she wouldn’t have been burdened by having all of those kids.” Humm.....well where would that have left us? I’m so glad that even in all of her brokenness, her struggles, that she gave birth to my mom. We don’t know what kind of sorrow and pain would make her act in the way that she did, having several children that she never intended to keep. God has made good on bringing amazing stuff out of the rubble. He is faithful, even when life is ugly, scary and unfair. My mom wasn’t an unwanted child...God already had big plans for her and her heritage.

Our life hasn’t been easy either. With medically fragile kids, we have stared down some scary times of our own. But I would do it all over again. When we got the ultrasound of Lily at 18 weeks with her unusually small jaw, we knew that the road would be difficult. The sweet doctor that came into the ultrasound room to tell us the news, (which I could already see on the screen) told us our tiny girl would be in for a tough time. He then asked if he could pray with us. We were at a Catholic hospital. He prayed that God would be give us all of the graces necessary to care for this precious little girl, that we would be brave and take courage, because in the end, it was God supplying all of our strength.

Through lots of tears....I was glad for the chance to carry this little person. In the next few years, after I had Lily, I would have people ask if I “knew” she was going to have issues. There were those who asked out of concern, like, “Wow, did you have any time to prepare yourself?”
There were others who asked with an edge to their voice....

Well, this smile would cut through any edge. Yes, we did know, I tell people, and I make sure they know my kids have never had to prove their genetic worth to us.

So....on this anniversary of Roe V Wade, I thank God for Life. I thank God that my maternal grandmother had her daughter nearly 68 years ago.....that my mom had me over 47 years ago...and that we have had seven babies in our own family. Little Benjamin and Christian stand before the Face of God. I’m sure we will see our beloved babies one day. In the mean time, they are interceding for us!

I’m so glad because of one person’s very broken, imperfect “Yes” we are here.