Thursday, January 28, 2010

Great Quilt and Fabric..and homeschool Blog

I just found this blog off of another.....and I am so glad!  Randi has a terrific Etsy shop for her fabric, I am so excited to see some terrific prints that are reasonably priced.  She has a few fabrics that are in my favorite color that seems hard to find.....I don’t know what the actual name is for this color, it is blue, but it has a brightness and richness that goes beyond “baby blue” or the such....more like “steel baby blue going cool” kind of thing.  I know you have seen it......is paired with brown a lot.....and red....and orange....

Anyway, here’s Randi’s blog link:

http://ihavetosay.typepad.com/randi/

I am contemplating doing the quilt along.  It will wrap up right before Lily’s big jaw distraction surgery.  We’ll see....

Craft fearlessly!
-Ma

March for Life!

All of my boys and husband who participated in the March for Life were home, exhausted but very glad to have gone, on Sunday morning.  What a trip!!  I am so glad they went and participated.

I will be posting my son’s You Tube movie he put together of the Walk experience.....very powerful.  I am heartened to see so many young people participating, thanks be to God.

--Ma

Thursday, January 21, 2010

March For Life!

I pray there will be a day when we march to celebrate our victory over the Culture of Death......by abolishing the heinous act of abortion.  

I am one of those people who have looked at an ultrasound screen, and been told that there was something wrong with the baby.....and it makes me so sad to think that others would have aborted what would become this.....



Both of these little people have had tracheostomies.  and between them, there have been eighteen surgeries so far.  Life for them is.....life.  Sometimes hard, sometimes very, very hard.....and sometimes glorious....like on beautiful Fall days with a little chill in the air and glow in the sky.  They were meant to be here.  They are a testament to life, even when it isn’t perfect, and their little bodies need extra help....they make others better, they aren’t just a syndrome to be done with.

Embracing life is embracing imperfection.....and trials.....and running like crazy on Fall days, even if you have to stop every once in a while to have your trach suctioned, or have food down your g-tube.  

God bless all of those walking tomorrow in the March for Life in Washington DC.  We stand united in prayer, especially in this house.....giving witness to those special needs children who should have a chance to smile on a Fall day. 

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

A Medically Intense Life

I have mentioned before that we have children with intense medical needs, and have for a long time.  Within four months of my second child’s birth, (he is now 15), we were thrown into the world of pediatric units in hospitals.  It must have been Divine Preparation (isn’t a lot of life that?) for having two children with tracheostomies.....I think we are up to 26 surgeries now between all five kids.
  
I struggle with keeping my emotions in check, while not stuffing them so far that they are a problem.  It is a delicate balance.  There is a lot to be done, a lot of info to share with medical providers and just hard work to do.....which can’t be done if I am in a pool of tears in grief, over my children’s suffering.  I have said before that a lot of what we parents of special needs kids do is jump in to the deep end, holding our noses, getting through the next hard thing.....that’s what it takes to lay your baby down on the surgery table, as strangers get ready to “fix them”.....or seeing your baby in pain in post-op recovery...or explaining to them why they are the ones who need so many surgeries. I realize we get through all of this by the Grace of God....I am keenly aware of His Presence in all of this. I still struggle, though, to balance the emotions with the work....

Here is a little poem I wrote to express how, I find my self in tears over things that seem sort of nothing, and I realize “it” is really my own grief over other seemingly unrelated stuff.  But, it is all related in the end.  While “getting through” the next thing is not specific to having a medically intense family, it is a skill we develop pretty quickly, but there are those moments when the weight of it all comes crashing down, at unexpected times.....and we have to pause and give those feelings their due.



The Moment

We are forced to stay in the present moment
our attention on our children
whose needs are many
more than average
We become masters at remaining 
emotionally detached as we rattle off
fifteen procedures our child 
has endured
Aware we have to stay focused on 
necessary action
We say to anxiety and sadness
Not now
Go away
the heaviness of emotions 
pushed off
retreating
until there is an intermission in the action
our game face off
we are caught holding what looks like 
someone else’s 
sorrow or grief
at inopportune times
A well written book
an intense movie
a face in the crowd, overcome with some unknown affliction
Taken by surprise at our reaction
of tears
seemingly borrowed for the moment
upon further inspection in the light 
of the intermission
we hold not un-popped kernels
drudged from the bottom of the bucket
but 
past emotions 
pop
out of retreat
ready to be present and dealt their due
We call the tears 
our own
embracing what is ours
for a short while
until the next 
call to action. 

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Meet Susanna!

I am finally getting to posting Lily’s dolly pictures.  I finished her little flowery smock in time for Christmas, but didn’t finish the cardigan until this morning.  I had started another sweater, but it didn’t fit....and I abandoned that one for this pattern.  It is actually a free knit pattern I found for preemies.....I made the arms longer.



I am so happy with the way it all turned out, and Lily really likes Susanna as well! That name just popped into my head this morning, after a few have asked if we named the dolly.  I looked up the spelling, and Susanna means....”Lily”.  How neat is that???

Hope your New Year is filled with many Graces and Blessings....and a terrific number of fearless crafting days!!

--Ma