Our Story....a Prolife Story

So, I’m going to talk a bit about my family of origin.

Growing up, I never had a large family of cousins, reunions, or get togethers. One reason for that is my mom was adopted and had one sibling from her adoptive family. My father is an only child and both of his parents were out of the picture before I had grown out of toddlerhood. So our’s was not a family of big Christmas’s, or extended, cohesive family. I was curious about my mom’s side, given that we didn’t know anything about her biological family, but as most kids, I just accepted what the reality was and moved on.

My mom did end up finding her biological family after I had started having children of my own. A half sister of her’s actually lived 10 minutes from my house! It was a happy reunion, except my mom found out both of her biological parents had died several years before her finding the family. What struck me, though, in finding out who her parents were, their personalities, and the facts surrounding my mom’s pregnancy and birth, that on the surface, this baby, my mom, looked like what others would call “a mistake” 

 My maternal grandmother was a broken woman as was my grandfather. My grandmother had many children by many different men, including my own mother. She adopted out the majority of her THIRTEEN children, staying in touch only with two or three, who were raised by relatives.

This isn’t the joyful news you see on TV with a biological mom who was ecstatic to see her long lost child. While my mom’s siblings were, for the most part, very welcoming and so sweet to my mom, it was a loss to her that she didn’t meet her mother. It was an additional loss to feel like her mom didn’t give her up in a heroic act of love, but rather as a problem to be given away. 

Many could say, “Well, if only abortion was legal when she was having babies, and she wouldn’t have been burdened by having all of those kids.” Humm.....well where would that have left us? I’m so glad that even in all of her brokenness, her struggles, that she gave birth to my mom. We don’t know what kind of sorrow and pain would make her act in the way that she did, having several children that she never intended to keep. God has made good on bringing amazing stuff out of the rubble. He is faithful, even when life is ugly, scary and unfair. My mom wasn’t an unwanted child...God already had big plans for her and her heritage.

Our life hasn’t been easy either. With medically fragile kids, we have stared down some scary times of our own. But I would do it all over again. When we got the ultrasound of Lily at 18 weeks with her unusually small jaw, we knew that the road would be difficult. The sweet doctor that came into the ultrasound room to tell us the news, (which I could already see on the screen) told us our tiny girl would be in for a tough time. He then asked if he could pray with us. We were at a Catholic hospital. He prayed that God would be give us all of the graces necessary to care for this precious little girl, that we would be brave and take courage, because in the end, it was God supplying all of our strength.

Through lots of tears....I was glad for the chance to carry this little person. In the next few years, after I had Lily, I would have people ask if I “knew” she was going to have issues. There were those who asked out of concern, like, “Wow, did you have any time to prepare yourself?”
There were others who asked with an edge to their voice....

Well, this smile would cut through any edge. Yes, we did know, I tell people, and I make sure they know my kids have never had to prove their genetic worth to us.

So....on this anniversary of Roe V Wade, I thank God for Life. I thank God that my maternal grandmother had her daughter nearly 68 years ago.....that my mom had me over 47 years ago...and that we have had seven babies in our own family. Little Benjamin and Christian stand before the Face of God. I’m sure we will see our beloved babies one day. In the mean time, they are interceding for us!

I’m so glad because of one person’s very broken, imperfect “Yes” we are here.

Yarn Along.....

Okay, you know when you see yarn online and everyone is talking about it? And everyone loves, loves, loves it? I bought some of that kind of yarn.....popular girl yarn....and I am not impressed. At all. I seriously could have used a Lion brand wool blend and it would have been better.

I contacted the company and expressed my deep disappointment in this yarn, as I continued to knit my daughter’s sweater. They replied they were sorry, and here is 10% off for my next purchase. Hummm....next purchase? The yarn is very soft but I’m sad it already looks pretty well worn. Hopefully it was just a bad run of that particular colorway or something, because I have heard nothing but good stuff.

So, I am going to finish, and hope maybe with a little heat and blocking that the fuzzy will calm down and this will look much better. The pattern is “Cricket” as I have mentioned previously. Here is the link to my Ravelry page for the cardigan.

http://www.ravelry.com/projects/malikestoknit/cricket

The color is nice and I think Lily really likes it thus far....check out her preview with double points sticking out all over. She was careful putting that tiny arm in....

I still need to finish that other sleeve, and pick up a gazillion stitches for the neck and button band. Hopefully by next week it will be finished!

My reading time has been a bit split. I have found I LOVE to read while on the treadmill at the Y. I do get off said treadmill looking a tiny bit inebriated. It makes me somewhat dizzy to walk 30 mins rather quickly, while reading, and then to stop and step down. I feel like I weave over to the next machine grabbing for the wall. On my Kindle, (that little thing is amazing, great Christmas present from my sweet husband), I am reading “The Book Thief.” Wow. It is good, not particularly uplifting, but I like the writing style. I hear there is a movie out, I’ll probably watch it when I get done with the book.

I’m also trying to finish a few other book, one on the spirituality of Flannery O’Connor and I still need to read the rest of “The End of the Present World.”

So much yarn, so many books...so little time.

Go check out Ginny’s Yarn Along!

Organizational Extravaganza

Okay...it sounds really trite to say, “Hey, New Year’s Resolution...I’m gonna get organized!”
Yeah...that usually lasts until January 2nd at 2pm. But...not this year. I really feel called to be a much better steward of our money and time by organizing key areas in our house. That would be....most of the house. The good news is, I have conquered something that has had the upper hand over me for years. I am not a born organizer. I love to be organized, but man, is it work!! When we moved here 6 1/2 years ago, I was ginormously pregnant with this little pipsqueak.

I had her five weeks after we moved in to this house. Most everything was unpacked in three weeks, which meant everything was taken out of boxes rather hastily and not with a lot of thought into best placement.  My main focus was on a certain nursery that I got to decorate for my first girl....not organizing my kitchen. My kitchen has been put on the back burner for years. The thing is, the kitchen is our command post. It is where Things Get Done. It’s been so irritating when most of my supplies are not easily accessible or efficiently organized to maximize my time in the kitchen...and I spend A LOT of time in the kitchen. Why did I wait so long?? Well....I have had a lot going on.

You know you want to see those before photos, right? It is amazing what can hide in cabinets...I felt so guilty as I pulled out so many things that had been stuffed back on very deep pantry shelves. So much was out of date, and many things were thrown away.

It looks like a mug shot, doesn’t it? Guilty....

Hand me the scalpel, this is going to be painful....

And then I found something way more emotionally evocative than oatmeal two years out of date.....

Looks like a cap of some kind....I mulled through my memory rolodex, trying to figure out why I was so emotionally keyed up over this tiny cap. Yes! It was the cap that we had to use in plugging Lily’s trach over three years ago, this was the judge who ruled either yes or no if she could get her trach out. While it was plugging her trach, she had to breathe on her own, through her mouth and nose,  and stay pink and happy as she did it.  I’m saving this memento....it holds a lot of meaning for us. 

There are two parts to my pantry, the food side and the pharmacy side.  We specialize in airways here, so most of this on the left side is the daily regime for asthma and allergies. We had a few baskets that random things were thrown in, and most of the daily meds were in loosely placed in “groups”. So after I got the food side cleaned out, I still had to deal with the medicine side. It took me basically two long afternoons into early evening to get this one space cleaned out. Wow...

So now everyone has their own bin, labeled with their name. Other meds are placed by grouping and labeled. The labels are from the Martha Stewart/Avery line at Staples. I also have our battery and a few flashlights in there as well. The key here is to have bins that are clear and accessible. I have never labeled anything like this in my life. Most labels I have written are, “Last piece of cake belongs to Peter” hastily written on a napkin next to a crumbly piece of cake. This labeling thing is my eureka moment. I want a labeler now....I finally get the addiction. 

Several kitchen trash bags out to the garage later...and I have a labeled, organized pantry and med area. 

I buy some things like rice, flour and sugar in larger bags, which have always been swimming down below under the shelves...but that area gets so dusty and dirty as people walk by from the garage, I wanted to get them off the floor and into the pantry. I found 1/2 gallon Ball Jars at Walmart. They are perfect for storing dried goods. I see you yawn.....”Yeah, Diana, we’ve known 1/2 gallon Ball Jars for years.” I told you this is not something that comes naturally for me!!

I used washi tape and a permanent marker to label everything. No more, “Where is the brown sugar??” I love washi tape, and plan on getting something prettier than what is here, but that is for another day and a trip to Michael’s. 

I know this is getting long, but I have to show you what I did with my spice area. It was like a your worst closet that falls out on you every time you open it....every day....why did I wait so long to do this?? 

This has always been a reach for me to get, since I am a shorty, and it’s up over the appliance garage. 

It ended up being a much bigger project because I had to rearrange a few other cabinets that have needed organized as well. I use my big mixing bowls several times a week, and always had to get the step stool out....but no more falling spices, no more climbing ladders...

I grouped all of the main spices by: baking, spicy/chili, and savory. It is all at my fingertips now, with the mixing bowls right above where I can reach on my tippy toes.

 My eyes have been opened, the onion peels yanked off....organization is a good thing. In my usual impatient way, I’m ready to get the entire house organized like....now....but this is something that will take several months. I’m excited! How about you? Do you have that ONE area that you use all of the time but just haven’t made it work for you? 

Now I feel better prepared to menu plan, which in turn does save us money. With the obscene amount of food I had to throw away that was past due...I am in this to stay organized now. No more waste!! Washi tape and permanent markers are now part of my tools in the kitchen. I’ve started marking leftover containers in the fridge with dates on washi tape. The grand thing about washi tape is that it peels off so easily from containers, who knew?? 

The best part is....I can close the door on my pantry and I don’t have Costco size cumin falling on me whenever I try to get cinnamon. Hurray!! Victory!!

Yarn Along--Cautionary Tale....

Well folks, this is a cautionary tale called “Knit A Non-Roll Edge To Your Lace Scarf.”

I started knitting this beloved scarf two years ago. This is one of the few things I have knit for myself.  So, the yarn is really nice dk weight-- “Tonal” from KnitPicks. I love this red color, “Gypsy.” Lots of great shades, very subtle, and a dream to knit. I was determined to knit through the entire skein of yarn, and make this scarf long enough to wrap around my neck and everyone else’s neck in the family.

But...the pattern, which was free....did not call for a slip stitch at the beginning of the rows. You who are further along in your knit knowledge know where this tale is heading. No matter how much I have blocked this baby, stretched it, pleaded with it, did dances around it asking it to please play nice and stay flat...it planted its stitches firmly in the roll position and stubbornly stayed there. I cried to my local yarn shop owner, who rocks by the way, and she broke the bad news to me. “This will continue to roll in unless you go back around the sides of the scarf and do some kind of crochet edging.” I think she was a nurse in another life, because Rachel delivered that news rather calmly, looking all sympathetic like we nurses do before we stick something foreign into your chest cavity. Actually she isn’t a nurse, but she could play one on TV.

So....here’s what it looks like done....

And here’s what it looks like wrapped around my head a few times, like a red rubber hose. Dang. Not the lacey goodness I was hoping for. I was doggedly determined to knit through that entire skein, of course, so I have enough left to tie my shoe with and that is IT. I will be ordering a new skein, I suppose, because two years to finish a blasted scarf is too long to let it be all curled up like a red snake in my drawer.

The only reason I smiled is because Peter was distressed by my melancholy over a scarf.

As far as reading, I’ve been reading lots and lots of sites on Pinterest trying to come up with the Thanksgiving recipes...it is tomorrow, guess I should step it up a bit. I have read more of my book from last week’s Yarn Along, “The End of the Present World,” by Fr. Arminjon. I read some out loud to my two boys at home, and had some great conversations afterwards with them.

Happy Thanksgiving, Friends! Many blessings on you and don’t you DARE go shopping tomorrow.

Yarn Along!!

Hi Friends!

I’m participating in Ginny’s Yarn Along, where every Wednesday folks link up to her blog and share what they are knitting and reading. I don’t always participate, but it is a fun thing to do!

Yarn Along...Ginny’s blog.

 Here is what I am knitting right now.

This cardigan is for my Lily. She picked out the yarn, Quince & Co Chickadee in sorbet.  This is more than I usually pay for yarn, and I am sort of wondering if it is normal for it to look so fuzzy. Hummm...the jury is still out on this one. Has anyone else noticed this with this yarn?

The pattern is from Ravelry, here is my project page for this so far....I am “malikestoknit” on Ravelry. This project is from Melissa Schaschwary. Here is her blog--  Another Dandi Day  The pattern is the little girl’s “Cricket.” Melissa was so helpful per email when I had a question. I think she does lovely, lovely patterns...check out her blog! She has an adult version of this sweater, “Heather” that I plan on doing one day for myself. 

As far as reading, I am going to try to finish “The End of the Present World and the Mysteries of the Future World,” by Fr. Charles Arminjon. Here is Susan Conroy’s website, the translator from French to English for this book.  You can also see an interview of Susan by Johnette Benkovic at that site. 

Susan Conroy

Wow....this is an amazing book!! I have always been a bit nervous about the “End Times.” I heard a priest say during a homily, “When Jesus comes, will you be the ones running towards Him, or away from Him?” That had a profound change in my anxiety. Of course, I want to be the one running towards Him!! We have nothing to fear as long as we stay in a state of Grace. 

St Therese of Lisieux, one of my favorite saints, read this book. It was one of her favorites. The quote on the front of the book from her is, “Reading this book was one of the greatest graces of my life.” 

That sold me. 

Great book, great pattern.....go forth!! 

**Humm....Ginny’s site won’t come up, it looks like her server is down or something. I’ll link up later. 

Encouragement For the Weary Homeschooling Mom

Ok. Here it goes. For those of you who know and still love me, you know life with my beloved posse is not always easy. The medical stuff...the illnesses and surgeries....the crazy serious food allergies....it all adds up to be sort of.....hard. I can’t remember a time when it has been easy, except maybe when my sweet husband and I were first married almost 22 years ago and we lived on Diet Coke and love. Easy.

And then we started having our kids. The pregnancies were not simple (to say life threatening for both me and babe would not be overstating it) and our second had severe asthma. We started getting a taste of what “dying to self” meant.

Then, we got all crazy 15 years ago and decided to home educate our children.

 

Do you see that tiny cherub adored by his big brothers? He’s fifteen years old now. I know how long we have been homeschooling by how old Gabe is...you can’t see the small “school room” set up behind this scene. Tiny table, workbooks....we had it all locked down. I gave myself six weeks after his birth and then announced, “We are officially homeschooling, people!” I thought that meant I was in charge. Lesson one...you are NOT in charge. The sooner ya’ll get that one embedded in your weary brain, things will start to go much smoother. 

This tiny chubby cheek wonder did not ever, ever want to be put down. Ever. He cried and cried if I dared lay him down for a nap. I nursed every ten minutes for months on end...that isn’t too much of an exaggeration. I had just learned all about attachment parenting and waaalaaa,  I was attached alright. What we didn’t know was Gabe had horrible food allergies, so everything I was giving him in my milk, he was having constant GI upset and distress...for months. He also was blessed with asthma. That did a real number on my perfectly arranged home education model. It went from a well put together Charlotte Mason inspired curriculum to, “Legos anyone??” This was right out of the gate. Boom went my plans, confettied and immediately outdated. 

So, I’m going to do the equivalent of hitting the fast forward button....interspersed with some pictures because...my kids are pretty cute. 

Peter was born with quite a few medical issues...trach, feeding tube, and sixteen surgeries later, this kid rocks it! 

And then we had our pink caboose as we moved to a new state. 

Lily has the same syndrome as Peter, so she got her very own ticket to several surgeries, and her own personalized trach and feeding tube. This girl doesn’t sweat it, she is has a whole house full of men who adore her, and would lay down their life for her. It doesn’t get much better than that! 

Yes, yes, I know. I’m suppose to be writing some encouragement here for ya’ll! I just wanted to show you that this has not been any ordinary path to homeschooling. 

Life is hard whether you home educate or not. It is messy and difficult and beautiful and broken. We all come to this game with our own toolbox filled in some ways, and lacking in others. Looking back on 15 years of home educating, with two boys in college, and my three “littles” not so little anymore, I can say this has been so worth it.

I have not been equal to the task. That’s the truth. People say, “Oh, I don’t know HOW you do it all.” Here’s the deal, I don’t!! My house is a mess, I invite people over just so I’ll get my act together and start bellowing out orders to PICK UP!! My kids aren’t perfect, they do and say immature, thoughtless things. This is all true whether we home educate or not!! So embrace the imperfection called Your Family! I have a wise confessor who says, “Invite God into your mess.” Ha! I not only invite Him, I throw open the door and yell, “Emergency!! Code Red, Mom down!” 

Home educating our children has always been about doing what God has called our particular family to do.  I am not here to convince you to homeschool. That is seriously not my place, it is between God, your spouse and you. But, it is nice to hear how others have done it, especially ones who admit freely that they are far from perfect and struggle mightily with big issues. 

So...here’s my little list that I know is true for my family. I hope it helps you. Take what you like.

#1 God is in charge.

#2 Consult Him often... 

#3 Never try to copy exactly how some other hip home school mama does it. It never works out, ask me how I know. 

#4 Do run to your Mama’s side, the Blessed Mother. She is all about picking us up and taking us to the King. 

#5 Relationships always, always above academics!!! It is easy to become a task master and not a mentor. Build your relationship with each person in your family, and the rest will fall into place. This is especially true of the most important relationship in the family, the one between you and your husband. Ultimately, the Relationship with God and our Faith journey is the highest good here to which all other relationships should point to.....

#6 Great literature is key. That is going to look different in each family. Maybe for one that means kids reading Lord of the Rings when they are nine. In another family it might mean listening to audio books, or seeing the play, “Anne of Green Gables.” The point is to have a life influenced by rich literature. So much is learned of virtue through the great books. 

#7 Simplify when life gets out of control. That was brilliant, wasn’t it? It took me a whole second to think it up, but I’m still learning what that means after 15 years. I always seem to fall back on Catechism, math and literature when those times of craziness start for our family. I guess with our medical issues, thoughts like, “Breathing ranks first!” makes it easy to prioritize.  What is your family’s biggest priority?? Start with that and move forward. 

#8  God fills in the gaps. There has been a lot of untidy muckiness in our life of home education, due to the stops and starts of having medically fragile kids and an imperfect mom.  I have never finished everything on my list and I never will. There. I said it. But God is faithful, and if He called you to do this, become small so He can work. He’ll blow you away. 

#9 Poetry. Read it. Read it to your kids, and read some on your own. And don’t just stick to the classics, do check out books like Amy Vanderwater’s "Forest Has a Song." We don’t read poetry every day, every week, or even every month...but it is a loving friend who likes to share the couch with us and start great conversations. 

#10 You will never feel like you have it all completely together. That is true for everyone, but somewhere along the way, we home educating moms think that if we just would get the perfect schedule, the perfect chore chart, the perfect math curriculum, our kids will be amazing and our house will sparkle. Yeah...whatever. 

I’m done with the number thing.....but a few more observations of mine. 

Homeschooling is a lifestyle. Embrace it!! Some days will be brilliant with the lessons and learning flying off like sparklers in your hand. Other days will feel like the sparkler just fizzed out and burnt your pinkie. Be okay with the uneven terrain, the duds, the beauty.....it all makes for an amazing story. 

Little St. Bernadette

And stay close to the Saints! (If I had meant football, I would have said the Colts, but.....I mean our own cheering crowd, our brothers and sisters who see the face of God. Go to them! )

St Therese of Lisieux, pray for us! Help us to home educate following your Little Way! 

Detroit trip...

So we took a short three hour trip to Detroit to see my son, who is studying architecture at college. It was his birthday week and we wanted to see him. You can tell everyone was saving their energy for the day!

We picked J up and went to Mass at a beautiful church in Greektown, Old St. Mary’s. It is run by the Redemptorists, and is a must see. I have a very special friend who lives in Louisiana, and she has introduced me to Blessed Seelos. The more we have learned about him, the more we are just amazed at the intersections between our lives and Blessed Seelos. Here is a link to lots of information on this wonderful priest. He was in Detroit for a short amount of time before he traveled to Louisiana, where he died a year later as he tended to those with yellow fever. Fr. Seelos was known for his joyful devotion to his people, he was a true shepherd to his flock. I count him as my newest friend amongst the Communion of Saints.

http://www.seelos.org/

As I walked into the main church, I was so struck by the church’s beauty. I immediately saw our mutual friend, Blessed Seelos, in the front of the church.

Here’s a few pictures of the inside of the church...

The wood was ornate and hand cut with intricate designs. The main altar was so nice.

I took this with my phone, so they aren’t the best, but it really does need to be seen in person to appreciate how beautiful this church is on the inside. 

Old St. Mary’s also has a few grottos in the back, within the church itself. I have never seen anything like this, a Marian grotto and one for the Sacred Heart. Very nice, Lily loved these. 

These were made to be like caves that you walked through...very European looking. 

Old St Mary’s is a German church, I haven’t seen many like this since we left Indy. It reminded me of Sacred Heart and Old St John’s, both in Indy.

We returned to J’s dorm room,where we slowly heated up home made beef stew I had brought from home, in J’s microwave, and opened presents. It’s fun having a little sister who is ever so helpful in opening those gifts! 

It’s sort of strange seeing my son live and work somewhere other than our home. I am so proud of him, but miss him, as we all do. I am happy things are going well, and look forward to our next visit when he is home for Fall Break. 

Do get to Old St. Mary’s in Detroit if you can, and look of Blessed Seelos, I love his story!